The gifts you really don’t want for Christmas!

Welcome to OVERSTEER’s Christmas Gift Guide!

While your ordinary gift guide might feature things that people might actually want for Christmas, we here at OVERSTEER have never been ones for all that nonsense – so instead here here is a guide to the gifts you really don’t want to see under the tree this Christmas.

If you have seen any of these today, then they will be either from a well-meaning relative who knows you “like cars” or from someone who truly dislikes you. The same goes for the latest Jeremy Clarkson book that you will almost certainly get.

Have a great Christmas from OVERSTEER!

The Bumper Bully

If someone gives you a Bumper Bully for Christmas, then one thing will be startlingly clear – they think you are a really crap driver.

The Bumper Bully is pretty much exactly what it looks like – a thick rubber pad that sits on your bumper and stops you causing more damage than you clearly already do. It also has the added advantage of being a huge reflectorised rubbery visual alarm bell to others that you can’t be trusted when going backwards. Probably not forwards either, for that matter.

If you do open up this rubber monstrosity on Christmas day you know that someone truly does care for you. Or is just sick of you backing into the side of the house all the time.

Auto Visor Sun Guard Shield

Do you have a loved one who enjoys driving, but has problems driving during daylight because they lack the necessary facial features to support the wearing of sunglasses?

Well, then the the Auto Visor Sun Guard Shield is the ideal gift for them this Christmas!

A lack of ears and/or a suitably supportive nose arranged in the usual order no longer means you need to suffer from the brutal glare of the sun when driving – all you need to do is clip this horrid piece of plastic crap to your sun visor and – Hey Presto! – not only do you have a cheap and nasty piece of clear tinted plastic taking up a small area in your general line of sight, there is the added benefit that you now also look like a complete idiot!

Tailgater Tow Hitch Cover

Hey Cletus! Do you find opening beer bottles hard now that you only have three teeth left? Well then you had better ask the mother of at least seven of your ten children to buy you a Tailgater Tow Hitch Cover to put on your truck this Christmas!

Filling the dual roles of covering up the hole where your tow ball would normally be – but you had to take if off because your youngest likes to chew on it – and a handy bottle opener, nothing encourages the fun and games of irresponsible drink-driving like the Tailgater!

Whether you are spending the day slumped across the tailgate drinking and cussin’ at the young ‘uns before heading off to shoot something or speeding recklessly to the NASCAR race, the Tailgater is useful in every automotive situation that requires the opening of beer.

Don’t let the fact that it is mounted out the back put you off either, just send one of the young ‘uns out to open the bottle for you and you won’t even have to slow down. Watch for bumps though – you don’t want to spill any beer!

Uncle Booger’s Bumper Dumper

We’ve all been there – driving miles away from civilisation when the crampy grip of desperation caresses your lower intestines with a gentle, loving insistence. What do you do? Stop and expose your sensitive undercarriage to an uncaring world full of sharp flora and things with teeth? Or do you keep going and desperately hope you will make it to the glorious salvation of white porcelain before that one final crampy squeeze ruins your upholstery forever?

Well, if you get Uncle Booger’s Bumper Dumper this Christmas, then that is a decision you will never have to face again!

Simply fix the Bumper Dumper to your tow ball and go about your business safe in the knowledge that nothing with malicious intent is going to be playing havoc with your most sensitive of areas while you read the newspaper.

It probably goes without saying that this isn’t really for use in town though…

Purple Zebra seat cover set

We all know people whose only taste is in their mouth, so it should come as no surprise that things like this exist. And if someone gives you a set of these for Christmas it says that at least one of you is one of those people.

Not content with fouling your seats with its purple stripy atrocities, the set also includes two matching seat belt pads and a steering wheel cover. Thereby not only making any car look truly horrid, they also serve a dual purpose of warning people that they really should avoid you at parties as well.

Car Laptop/Eating Steering Wheel Desk

Are you someone that is so drastically overworked that you actually work in your car? Do you also eat a never-ending stream of garbage sourced from drive-thru windows? Well then, the Car Laptop/Eating Steering Wheel Desk is the perfect gift for you!

Whether you are a top-notch salesperson, always on the run to the next sales call or are just so unpleasant to be around that “alone in the car” is the only place you can work, then the Car Laptop/Eating Steering Wheel Desk is the solution to all of your problems, except for the really major ones at the root of why you actually spend so much time alone in your car. Of course, you will have to buy it for yourself, because you won’t have any actual friends.

The Car Laptop/Eating Steering Wheel Desk is also perfect for balancing large amounts of unhealthy low-nutrition junk food on while you frantically change your sweat-soaked shirt for the fifth time that day in the car park around the corner from your next sales call.

All of this, plus the Car Laptop/Eating Steering Wheel Desk is also the ideal thing for a complete stranger to eventually find you slumped over when your high-stress lifestyle and appalling diet finally cause that inevitable massive coronary!