The Good Oil: The Perfect Car

The Good Oil: The Perfect Car

Every week Damien does The Good Oil column for the NZ Herald’s DRIVEN magazine – here are a few highlights from the latest one, with a link to the entire thing!

This is the PERFECT car … apparently

A professor of psychology at the Scotland’s Stirling University, Peter Hancock, thinks this is the perfect car.

He surveyed around 2000 people, asking: What is your favourite car? and Which aspect do you find most attractive?

After coming up with around 3800 data points, he identified the most attractive elements of the most popular cars.
Then, instead of — I don’t know — going to a design professor or student, he decided to show off his awful photoshop skills by creating the Mechanical Bottom Feeding Fish From Hell (pictured).

Mini Cooper headlights are poorly cut-and-pasted on to the nose of an Aston Martin DB9.

Rolls Royce Phantom doors have the mirrors of a Citroen C4 Picasso, while the roof and windows of a Lamborghini Gallardo are awkwardly attached above.

The Triumph Spitfire rear end is finished with tail lights from an Audi A1, while the wheels are from a Range Rover Evoque. Though all this makes for a truly hideous Frankencar, what The Good Oil really wants to know is — what kind of weirdo would say they find the door mirrors the most appealing part of a car?

We are the world

  • Just after crashing his car into a house and just before vomiting, Florida man Reliford Cooper apparently dobbed in the true offender in the piece — his dog. Cooper assured the police who turned up to arrest him that “My dog was driving that car”. Unfortunately for Cooper the police didn’t believe that and charged him with drink-driving.
  • After arresting a 23-year-old man in Baltimore for robbing a shop at gunpoint, police let his getaway driver go free. Why? Because the poor, hapless sap was an Uber driver that Dashawn Cochran — the suspected robber — had hailed after doing the deed. Probably not the best escape plan. At least Cochran got lucky and landed a Lexus. Most of The Good Oil’s Uber rides have been in a clapped-out Toyota Prius.

Read the rest by clicking here!

Share This