New Cars Road Tests Top Ten

TOP TEN: Reasons why a Lexus LX 570 isn’t just a Land Cruiser in drag

August 14, 2012

The Lexus LX 570; big, brawny, expensive and suspiciously familiar. That is because it is just a Toyota Land Cruiser with a different engine, more chrome and a lot of plasticky bits stuck to it. Or is it? Stop being a cynical bastard and read the ten reasons why it isn’t in this, the latest in out drastically irregular Top Ten series!

10. The vast majority of the body panels ARE actually different.

Don’t believe me? Then take a look at this pic…

See? Even the from guards are different, despite sharing the IDENTICAL flattened-off styling over the wheels. The bonnet, grille, bumper, headlights and front guards are different and looking at them side-on, you can see the whole front profile is different. Go down the back and the rear window is slightly different to the Land Cruiser, meaning it’s TOTALLY different rear door in terms of manufacturing, as is the rear bumper. In fact, the whole rear end, including the tailgate is different.

It’s really only the doors and roof that they share on the outside…

9. And the interior is different too!

Yup, totally different in here too! As expected, the Lexus gets more kit, some of it great, a lot of it utterly unnecessary, but that’s they way people who buy cars like this like it!

8. And the bits underneath…

Oh, yes! The Lexus has a different suspension set up too! Which actually ruins the ride…

The Land Cruiser has a big, plush ride that imperiously dismisses bumps and imperfections with disdainful ease. It also handles remarkably well, thanks to its trick KDSS suspension system.

The Lexus drops the KDSS system, adds much bigger wheels and an adjustable air suspension set up that misses the point by being far TOO firm. It has comfort and sport modes, but there isn’t a massive amount of difference between them and, as a result, the LX 570 jitters and skips over imperfections that wouldn’t bother the Cruiser.

Not that it is terrible, just disappointing that it isn’t WAY better than the Land Cruiser. Like we were expecting…

7. And the oily bit under the bonnet…

Ah, yep, this is different too. Quite different.

While the Land Cruiser gets a monstrous 4.5-litre twin-turbo diesel V8 with a mountainous 650Nm of torque, the LX 570 gets and even more excessive 5.7-litre quad-cam petrol V8 that pumps out 270kW of power and 530Nm of torque.

Quiet and refined when necessary, the big 5.7 bellows like ten thousand angry bastards when you climb up it and rockets the massive LX off the line in a fashion that would be described by conservationists as “horrifying” which is handy, because that also equates nicely to its fuel usage…

6. Drag implies it is dressed up as a lady.

Which it is not! It IS very chrome-y and does feature a particularly unflattering body kit that does nothing whatsoever for it in aesthetic terms. Or functional terms, for that matter.

While the big, manly, uncompromising shape of the basic Land Cruiser DOES look vaguely uncomfortable and out of place draped in all the bling and ill-advised bit of plastic, it still doesn’t look like a Cruiser in drag. No, it reminds you far more of a farmer dressed as a rapper.

“Hey Trev, pass me those gold chains and that diamond eye patch. I’m going out to do some drenching and maybe pop a few caps in some asses, yo bitch…”

5. If you say that, it will punch you in the face.

Oh yes, despite the blingy silliness of the exterior, the LX 570 is still a big, tough bruiser (well… Cruiser) underneath and, as such, is still a remarkably rugged and capable off road vehicle.

It is tough. It is rugged. It is manly. Which is why the shiny bits and silly body add-ons are so silly…

4. Well…

Okay, only half way through and I have run out of justifications for the premise of this article. Hell, let’s face it, the LX 570 pretty much IS just a Land Cruiser in drag. But that is the whole point of it; it is for people who have LOTS of money and want to prove it. A Land Cruiser is an awesomely capable and frighteningly good vehicle, so where could Lexus go on top of that?

The answer is this;

That is all. Add more stuff, make it shinier and give it a BIG petrol engine.

And it is ALMOST enough. The LX 570 is a magnificent vehicle, but a Land Cruiser is still better. Understated and with a superior ride, the Cruiser is just a far more convincing vehicle. The big V8 diesel rumble suits the vehicle’s character better than the high-revving Lexus V8 and the LX’s body kit is, as previously mentioned, just silly.

The Lexus has its charms and many, MANY trinkets –  but the nagging feeling that you are driving a tricked-up Land Cruiser is overwhelming. And for $196,400 you do expect a bit more than that…